Avoiding a Situationship With Colombian Women
First of all, a situationship is a setup that basically goes beyond a normal friendship or booty call, but neither you nor your partner have defined the relationship you’re in.
In other words, there’s no telling if you’re an official couple or not.
This can be comforting at first, as the setup allows less traditional pressures associated with an actual romantic relationship. However, such a benefit is only temporary because sooner or later, confusion about the status of your relationship will give rise to all kinds of problems.
Dating Colombian women and not being on the same page regarding the nature of your relationship will eventually create room for misunderstandings and a conflict of interest.
With that being said, to know if you’re in a situationship with a Colombian woman, try to watch out for the following signs:
- There is no label.
- You don’t talk about the future.
- You’re considered single during special occasions.
- She doesn’t want commitment.
- You haven’t met each other’s circles.
You’ve been through so many dates and have spent quality time with each other more than what a casual hookup demands, but when faced with the “labeling” question, you avoid talking about it. On certain occasions, you might have an awkward response when asked about this because you simply don’t know what to say.
The problem with situationships is that the future is never an ideal topic, unlike exclusive relationships where couples encourage each other to have goals and something to look forward to. Basically, your conversations tend to be merely superficial, or just sexual in nature. You don’t talk about what’s next because neither of you considers the other as a long term partner. In the event that you converse about future plans, it doesn’t involve either of you or any kind of assurance that you’d still be together.
On holidays or special events, you’re basically single. Even if it seems like you’re dating exclusively, you either introduce yourselves as single, or avoid calling yourselves a couple altogether. Your Colombian semi-lover may not invite you as her plus-one to weddings and other social gatherings, nor spend time with you during the holidays. These are just some parts of her life that she doesn’t want to share with you.
This can be one of the main reasons that she doesn’t want to have the boyfriend-and-girlfriend talk. Most of the time, it’s not about you as it is about her not wanting to be in a committed relationship. It could be that being committed isn’t a top priority for her, or she has other reasons that she obviously isn’t comfortable sharing with you yet.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re caught in a situationship, but when you’ve been together long enough and haven’t met the important people in your lives, it’s most likely that you’re stuck in one. When you meet Colombian women, one of the ways to know that they’re for keeps is if they gladly have you meet their loved ones, or ask if they can meet yours.
Are You Dating Exclusively?
If you’ve noticed that she doesn’t look for other dates, whether online or in person, it could be due to the fact that you are already there to meet her relationship needs. You take turns sleeping in each other’s places, and it’s possible that you both have feelings for each other, but rest assured, it’s not love.
Neither of you is willing to let your guard down for the fear of a full-time involvement in each other’s lives. This is what makes situationships confusing compared to the famous "friends with benefits" setup where you can just casually see someone with no commitment or relationship responsibility involved.
As a result, even though you’re positive that both of you are only seeing each other, it doesn’t mean you’re officially a couple.
What You Can Do to Get Out of It
For the sake of your mental health, you will need to know how to deal with a situationship, especially if you don’t want to be in one. Here’s how:
- Just be honest.
- Focus on what you want.
- Be aware of what a healthy relationship is.
- Practice being vocal about what you need.
- You can always change your mind.
- Cut ties.
You need to know what you want and be able to admit it to yourself. Only then will you have the confidence to tell her about it. In truth, situationships aren’t a bad thing, especially if both of you are aware that you’re in one, and you both agree to be part of it.
It could be that either one of you is only interested in a short term fling. But if you want the opposite, be reminded that honesty is a strong foundation for a solid relationship. Don’t make it more complicated by keeping things to yourself.
What kind of relationship do you really want? What qualities and traits are you looking for in a partner? In what way do you want to be loved or treated? Do you want to get married and have kids?
Be clear about what it is you want when you’re going to be romantically involved with someone — this includes what you can compromise and what you cannot. Either way, you can better identify these things when you can easily point out the ones you’re not comfortable with.
A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect, honesty, trust, compromise, open communication, and individuality. Couples who encourage healthy habits know that being in sync with each other is very important to achieve genuine love and happiness. While you don't always have to start with commitment in a traditional sense, at least you know that your relationship is built on the aforementioned values.
It’s never okay to let people take advantage of your vulnerability, even if it’s your significant other. If you know your worth, you won’t think less of yourself. Try to see if she treats you the way you want to be treated. If not, be good to yourself and practice saying what you need out loud.
Being vocal about what you want and need is a step forward to achieving the love life you desire. Walking away from a situationship may be scary, but it’s better than having to stay with someone whose goals don’t align with yours.
Has your Colombian lady made it clear right from the start that she isn’t ready for commitment and wants to keep things casual? If you agreed to this, well, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with changing your mind. If you’re starting to catch feelings and want to take care of your Colombian woman with the right label, simply tell her that you’re no longer comfortable with the setup you’re currently in.
Remember that even if being in a situationship works for you now, the same can’t be said for the days to come.
Be the mature adult and break the situationship you’re in rather than allow yourself to get hurt and eventually carry resentments in the future. If you’ve developed a deep connection and she still doesn’t want to move forward with you, be brave enough to end things in person. If not, you can always send her a well-crafted text explaining how your situationship just isn’t what you’re looking for at the moment.
All things considered, you should be the captain of your own ship when it comes to dating Colombian women. Situationship or not, it’s best to be aware of the signs so that you don’t end up feeling frustrated about not being on the same page with your lady. As a result, you will become better at avoiding this type of setup in the long run.